When a Man Loves a Woman

Book

When a Man Loves a Woman

1986 · Grove Press
Out of print

An examination of romantic relationships through the lens of Transactional Analysis, exploring how gendered scripts shape love, intimacy, and conflict between partners.

Written for: General readers interested in romantic relationships and gender dynamics

relationships transactional analysis emotional literacy

When a Man Loves a Woman applies Steiner’s script theory to the terrain of romantic relationships, examining the ways in which men and women are socialised into complementary but often destructive patterns of relating. Steiner is candid about the ways that traditional masculinity, in particular, can undermine genuine intimacy.

The book explores how unconscious life scripts drive conflict, miscommunication, and emotional distance in partnerships. Steiner argues that lasting love requires both partners to become aware of the roles they have been trained to play and to make conscious choices about how they want to relate instead.

Though now out of print, the book remains a thoughtful contribution to the literature on love and gender. Its TA-based framework offers a distinctive perspective on dynamics that many couples will recognise, and its insistence on honesty and emotional openness prefigures Steiner’s later work on emotional literacy.